Sugarcane
by MoonlightGardenias
Summary: A series of oneshots inspired by spoilers and in later chapters the episode itself, surrounding the events before, after, and during The End In The Beginning.
1. Heartbeats

**Author's Note: I probably should not be writing this. I've got enough stories and life things to deal with. But...I am. I am, because there have been some _really big_ spoilers surrounding a certain event in the season finale that have grabbed hold of me and refused to let go. I know that majority of these shots probably won't happen, at least not how I'm expecting or saying they will. But this is fic, right? We get to do what we want.**

**Anyway, a series of drabbles and oneshots about...the spoilers occuring before, during, and after that really big spoiler thing that happens in the finale. So, if you've read this far I'm assuming you either know it (unless you have been living under a rock...)...or you will find out now. Either way, DO NOT READ AFTER THIS POINT...if you don't want to be SPOILED. There, fair warning?**

**Okay, so this first one...is a oneshot. I actually had the idea for it before the spoiler about Brennan asking Booth to be her baby daddy even came about. The title of this fic, Sugarcane, is actually the title of a song from Missy Higgins, whom I adore. This shot is actually inspired by that song. I can't really explain why, it just is. Although the title is from, coincidentally enough, Heartbeats by Jose' Gonzalez.**

**Disclaimer: Nope. I don't own them. Characters are property of Kathy Reichs, Hart Hanson, Fox, et al. You get the idea. I just take them out to play.**

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She never wanted a child. For the majority of her life, she'd somehow been able to explain away all of those 'normal' mother-like feelings other women were experiencing.

But one day, everything changed. It wasn't exactly one moment, but a culmination of several. Brennan realized she wasn't getting any younger, and while yes, it wasn't right to bring a child into the world of pain and injustice they all lived in, but there was something. An inkling of desire rooted somewhere from deep within that lead to her wanting someone to share her world with, to pass on her life's experiences and everything she had learned.

Which lead her to this moment. This moment where she watched a black and white image floating back and forth on a screen, where a doctor moved a wand over her exposed abdomen. And where Booth was sitting beside her. He'd been her natural choice, the obvious one. He hadn't agreed at first and it had taken them a while to get to this point, but they were here and that was all that mattered.

Almost instinctively-she'd heard Booth refer to it as her maternal instinct-Brennan felt an overwhelming need to keep this being growing inside of her safe. Away from harm. It was still growing, still needed her womb for its every need. But what about afterward? When it was born, what was to happen? What would happen if it hurt or needed something she was unable to provide?

She felt Booth squeeze her hand, and momentarily felt guilty for ever thinking such thoughts. Of course there would be troubles, but she would always have him to help her wouldn't she? He was a part of this afterall.

But there was a bigger picture now, something so much more important than any worries she had.

"Congratulations," the doctor spoke. "It looks like you'll be having a girl."

She left them alone to go retrieve the information she'd requested, letting the sound of the door closing echo throughout the room. Nothing. No words. No sound. Save for a small, quiet but strong heartbeat coming from the monitor.

Ever so slowly, and Brennan would swear it wasn't of her own volition, she felt her hand reaching out to touch the screen. She wanted to do something, as if smooth fingerstips pressing against glass could bring their child any closer. They'd been able to pretend all along like everything was normal and nothing had changed, but this was different. Sure, her stomach had swelled a bit, but aside from that and some of her behaviors, it was as if nothing had changed. Until now. Somehow, sitting there listening to the heartbeats and watching the image of their baby-of their baby _girl-_helped make everything more real.

A laugh erupted from her side. "See, Bones..."

"What?" She asked in return, unable to tear her eyes away from the screen.

Booth's eyes glistened as his hand gripped hers just a little bit tighter. It sounded a like he was joking, but he'd never felt more nervous, scared, yet excited and happy all at the same time. He hadn't told her yet, had yet to say the words that had been part of the reason they were even in this moment. But this...the her asking him to come, the finding out the sex of the baby...it brought him just that much closer. He smiled as he studied the picture on the screen, all the while listening to the steady heartbeat. "I _told_ you it would be a girl."


	2. Realization

**Author's Note: Hi again. So, I'm glad to see there are people reading and enjoying these. I've been busy over the last few days so I haven't had a chance to reply to all of you personally, but know that I truly am thankful that you've taken the time to review. As a writer, I find feedback a critical part in the process.**

**Anyway, I suppose I should have said this before, but these shots won't be in chronological order. I feel like they're just snapshots, moments in time if you will. This particular one takes place about three months (give or take a week or so for dates, obviously). I don't know why I wrote it the way I did, but there's certainly something about a nervous Brennan that makes her seem that much more...normal? Like under all of the squintiness...she's not that different.**

**So yes...chances are if you've read this far, you know there could be a spoiler warning adhered. But anyway, you're warned.**

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"Doctor Brennan?"

Brennan paused her typing to see who was at the door. "Is there anything you needed? I've already reported my findings on the Kelmer case."

Cam smiled and nodded as Brennan went back to typing. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something different."

"Is it the day I've requested off that you're having difficulty with? I would think due to the amount of time I spend here every day, I'd be permitted to take a day for my brother's wedding." Brennan replied, not pausing her writing.

"Could you just-" Cam sighed. "Can you save whatever you're doing? This happens to be important, and I'd like to have an honest answer."

Brennan kept typing for a few moments before clicking to save the document. "What is it?"

Cam sighed, almost wishing she'd had the foresight to bring Angela into the situation. "After certain events in the past week or so, something has come to my attention. While this is an incredibly personal question, I'd appreciate an honest answer." She cleared her throat, steeling herself for the backlash. While it would not be the most comfortable of conversations, it was one that needed to happen. "Is it possible that you're pregnant?"

Brennan sat, momentarily stunned. "No, I'm fairly certain I would be aware of that fact."

"Just...you had to run from the platform when they brought the body in earlier this week. Earlier today, you did the same running from my lab. There have been other...things I've noticed. Subtle changes in behavior. As your boss and someone who considers you a vital asset to this lab, I'd like to know-"

"But it's impossible. I had a donor, but I changed my mind about anonymous donation, and the last time I had sexual intercourse was-" Brennan paused, realizing it was nowhere near as long ago as she thought. _Oh._ She looked up at Cam and sighed. "If you'll excuse me, Doctor Saroyan, there's something I need to do."

Cam opened her mouth to respond, save for the fact Brennan had already left the room. By the time she was prepared to tell her to take the rest of the day, she was already across the lab.

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There were so many brands. Too many, really. Brennan stared at her watch, calculating the amount of time until she had to know the results. Tests scattered across the sink and bathtub, waiting to be read.

_Positive._

Brennan's eyes widened as she read the first. She found the box for a second and read the directions for how to read it. After all, the first was a minor brand, something she had only purchased as backup. Ninety-nine percent accuracy wasn't good enough. She'd actually only purchased a few, but there was always the chance of a false positive.

_Positive._

Brennan sighed before setting the test down. There was no way a person could receive two false positives, right? And there was the matter of what Cam had brought up. While Brennan wanted to explain it away as a dose of food poisoning, she hadn't ever known for a case of such to last for two weeks. She checked the time and steeled herself for the results of the last test.

And there it was in black and white. The truth that, until that moment, she'd been oblivious to.

She swallowed slowly before staring at her own reflection. She'd done it. Well, to be technical, they'd done it. She was pregnant.

There was no way to avoid it. She'd have to tell him soon enough, due to her own volition or because she started to show. They were around each other enough, had he noticed the differences as well? Tears flooded her eyes at the new revelation, and a hand found its way to her stomach. A baby. Brennan wasn't sure how to feel about the idea. It had been the plan originally, but plans had changed.

The cold porcelain of the tub felt like ice against her skin as she perched herself against the edge. It only happened once, roughly two months prior, and it hadn't happened since. The statistical probability of her conceiving on that one night wasn't all that great, she thought. Maybe it was irony, that despite all of her planning, the actual child wasn't created in the clinical way she had planned. Still, she couldn't help but wonder just how she was supposed to approach the subject with him.

He'd brought it up once, the day after it happened, saying that it could never be "just sex" between them and that if all she wanted was a baby, he really didn't have much to offer. What Booth wanted was a relationship, and Brennan wasn't quite ready to accept the offer.

Still, weeks had turned into months, and now she was faced with a very new and very real situation she had no prior knowledge with. True, he had been her first and logical choice, but after her declining a relationship, it wasn't supposed to happen. Brennan sighed and shook the thoughts from her head.

She wasn't sure what would happen, but planning an appointment with her doctor would be at the top of the list. Not one to simply ignore her duties, she knew there was something far greater at stake here. A child, _their _child, was depending on her, and despite the fear that dwelled within, she knew there was no way she could begin to let it down. There was the matter of how to get there, what to bring, and the reality of it all scared her a little.

The one person she would normally call in such a situation was the one person she wasn't quite ready to face. So she reached for the phone and called the only other person she knew for a fact she could count on. "Angela, it's Brennan." She sniffled, fully aware and loathing how vulnerable she sounded. "I...need to talk to you."


	3. Hold On

**Author's Note: I know I said this would be up a few days ago, and I'm sorry that didn't happen. Classes picked up on the workload a bit more than I had anticipated. If all goes well, I should have another piece up either tomorrow or Monday.**

**This one takes place in May, addressing the whole 'health crisis' spoilers as well. I kept it a little ambiguous simply because at this point we don't know what's going on with Booth (where are the season finale sides already?)...and so it didn't seem right saying it was one thing when it's actually another.**

**Disclaimer: Nope. I still don't own Bones. It's a sad reality I face every day.**

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The knock at his door didn't come as a surprise, and neither did her response as soon as he opened it.

"Do you have _any_concept at all of how afraid and scared I was?" Brennan asked as she charged past him into his apartment. She stalked into his living room, impatiently tapping her foot until she saw him come back into view. "I don't get it, Booth. I don't. We've been partners now for over four years, but you couldn't trust me with the fact that something's wrong?" She cried, tears already threatening to fall.

"Bones, I can explain, alright? If you'll just let me." Booth replied, already knowing she wouldn't. This was something she needed to get off her chest, and he had no choice but to let her. Sighing, he crossed his arms and watched as his partner paced back and forth.

Brennan shook her head, her eyes boring directly into his. "Why? Why should there even have to be an explanation in the first place? I get it isn't something you'd like to flaunt, you don't want pity and can take care of the problem. That's just it, though. You, Booth. Just you and some stuffy doctor who could care less about what the treatment will do to you and more about how much money he or she will receive. Not me, let alone anyone else who you say are your friends and family-"

"Bones, come on-" Booth argues, though he knows it's probably pointless. He's learned not to stop her in mid-rant.

Just like that, Brennan spun on her heel to face him directly. "No," She replied, pointing a finger at him. "_You_ are the one who needs to 'come on'. You're the one who needs to stop giving advice about how people need to open up and trust others if you won't even hesitate to ignore your own rules." Brennan took a step closer, her finger within touching distance of his chest. "Do you have any notion at all as to how seeing you like that, yelling at some invisible something that wasn't even there, do you have any idea what that did to me? When I had to drag you out of that room and ask what was wrong, and you all but fainted in the middle of the hallway?" With each question, her pointer finger jabbed directly into his chest. "Then to find out that once you were at the hospital finding out what the problem was, that not only had you known something was wrong, but that you refused to tell anyone?" Brennan shook her head, pausing momentarily to blink back the tears that clouded her eyes. "As if that weren't enough, I had to find out from a nurse when I came by to check on you that you'd already gone home."

Booth caught her wrist just as she was about to poke him again. They stood, silent for a moment, Booth unsure of what to say and Brennan now left feeling nervous. "Bones, look at me."

Brennan stared at the ground and furiously shook her head while desperately trying to pull her arm free. "Let me go, Booth. You weren't concerned about me before, so you clearly shouldn't have any obligation to now. If you don't trust me, then-"

"Do you honestly believe that?" Booth asked as she again tried to pull free from his grasp. "You really think I'm not _concerned_ about you?"

"Just let me go, I'd like to go home." Brennan cried.

Booth shook his head. "You really think I don't trust you? And you know what? I really don't think you wanna go, 'cause if you did, I'm pretty sure you would've broken my arm by now."

Opening her mouth to respond, Brennan was, for once, left speechless. All of the waiting and wondering, not to mention worrying, of the past twenty-four hours came barreling down on her. Rather than doing what he expected by launching another string of threats at him, she instead vaulted herself at his chest, tossing herself into his arms. Burying her face in his shoulder, she finally succumbed to the sobs she had been trying so hard to fight back.

It took him a second to respond, but Booth quickly wrapped his arms tight around her, one hand rubbing circles on her back while the other cupped her head. "I'll be fine."

"No," Brennan argued. "You can't know that. This-whatever it is-there could be complications. There could be..." Her voice cracked. "You just can't...you can't die, okay?"

Booth sighed and shook his head. He hated to be the cause of her pain, no matter how it happened. "I'm not going to die, alright?" He replied. He pulled her tight before backing away. Wiping at the tears on her cheeks, Booth pressed a kiss to her forehead. "The condition I have...it's temporary. It's not life-threatening, and there's a procedure that will take care of the problem. I've already scheduled it for the beginning of next week."

Blue eyes blinked back at him, silence filling the room as Brennan processed what he said. Fingers traced the tired lines on his face, raked against his stubble before finally resting against his lips. Brennan drew a ragged breath in before slowly letting it out. Everything would be fine, or at least it would be soon. The man staring back at her, the one she'd come to count on more than anyone else, would soon be well again.

Seconds ticked by slowly, not that he'd rather be anywhere else, and for a while he was worried as to just what was running through her head. Until she did something his wasn't entirely expecting. She kissed him. Once slowly, though lasting only a few short moments, before pulling back and gauging his reaction. Booth gulped, reading in her eyes exactly where the situation would go if he let everything carry on. He nodded, almost imperceptibly, before clearing the small space between them and capturing her lips with his. His arms curled around her, pulling her to him. A kiss full of need and want, and of the passion they'd both been battling in the weeks before. Oxygen eventually became a necessity, and he pulled back just enough to rest his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry, Bones." He said, his breath hot on her lips. "I should've told you. I should've-I _do_ trust you...you've gotta know that."

Brennan nodded briefly as a smile crept its way across her face. "I do, Booth. Now-"

She'd leaned in to kiss him again, and guiltily, he drew back. "You and I both know exactly where this is going if this continues, Temperance. Don't-" Booth paused, wanting to choose his words carefully. "I don't plan on starting something I don't want to finish."

The use of her first name really shouldn't have come as much of a surprise, but it still caused a blush to spread across her cheeks. She nodded in confirmation, her eyes never straying from his. They were dancing dangerously close to the ledge, one wrong move and they'd fall off. It was deeper and scarier than anything she'd ever experienced before, but she wasn't afraid. "Neither do I."

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Moonlight cast a shadow on the objects in his room, creating a calm and quiet atmosphere. Clothes were strewn haphazardly across the floor. The occupants of the bed felt completely spent, as if they could never move again. Not that they'd want to, of course. Booth's eyes were fighting the urge to close as he draped an arm around her shoulders. He drew a deep breath in before planting a kiss on the crown of her head. So many things swam through his mind, of what just happened between them and what it meant, but he couldn't bring himself to vocalize any of them, at least not yet. Something about that moment, about them simply laying there together, begged for silence.

Brennan lazily slid an arm across his chest before settling her head against his shoulder. Her mind was still processing the details, but above everything else, all she found herself wanting to do was be still. Somewhere in her mind, something was trying to process the situation, to address what had happened, but there was another part of her that wanted it to simply be. Because despite whatever underlying lines in their partnership they'd just crossed, she found herself thinking it was what was supposed to happen. Where she expected to feel awkward or uncomfortable, she instead felt...content.

Booth was almost asleep when he heard a sound he hadn't quite expected. Brennan laughed before tucking herself into his side. "Everything okay, Bones?"

His voice was low and husky, and she tilted her head up to meet his eyes. "I wasn't expecting such a high level of normalcy, but I'm finding this to be incredibly-"

Booth tilted his head down to capture her lips with his. Words were fine and good, and they'd talk about everything in the morning, but for that night all he wanted was the safety and security of everything being as close to perfect as possible. He'd go through the procedure and be completely healthy again, and the woman he was closer to than anyone else was lying with her legs intertwined with his. "Perfect?" He smirked as he watched her roll her eyes. "What?"

"It's physically impossible for anything to be literally perfect." Brennan replied before tucking her bottom lip in between her teeth. "I can, however, relent on the fact that it's close."

Booth laughed before kissing her again, reveling in the fact that he could do so without fear of retribution. "I guess I'll have to settle for you 'almost agreeing' with me, huh?"

Brennan shrugged it off before settling back into her position. Tomorrow, she'd try and dissect why being with Booth in such an intimate way felt so comfortable, but for that moment sleep was beckoning her. Planting a kiss against his chest, she closed her eyes again before finally settling in completely. "It's enough," Brennan replied with a sigh. "for now."


	4. Best Laid Plans

**Author's Note: Thanks again to all of you who review. This one...it's a bit more angsty than the rest. Not necessarily 'angst', more like reflection on Brennan's part, but still something not as fluffy as the rest. **

**Reviews are amazing, so please feel free to leave one as detailed as you'd like (because yes, I appreciate every review I get, but the more detailed the better). And if any of you have any suggestions or prompts you'd like to give, feel free to send me those as well.**

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It wasn't supposed to be like this.

She had everything planned, the order in which things were to occur. She'd even factored in an allotted amount of time for things that couldn't have been foreseen.

Yet somehow, she failed to take this one into account.

She'd imagined them as friends, going through the process together. It wasn't a surprise that he'd want to be there for the baby; she wouldn't have expected anything less. Truthfully, she didn't have a problem with it.

They'd been having a good time, relaxing at her place after work and eating a generous amount of take-out. Nothing really out of the norm, even with her growing abdomen. It was getting late, and after a bite of particularly spicy food, she'd felt the baby move. He felt it too, but in that instant, everything culminated in a way even she couldn't have anticipated. He started talking to the baby, despite her telling him there was no way it could hear her.

Maybe it was the word 'it' that set him off, or the fact that she just didn't want to be touched. Whatever it was, she saw a hurt flash through his eyes like nothing she ever remembered seeing before.

_"Her, Bones." He said. "Now that we know what our baby is, you can stop the whole "the fetus" and "it" thing you've got going, alright?"_

Brennan argued back that it didn't matter how she referred to the child growing inside of her; for the remainder of her pregnancy, she would be the one responsible for its safety, and she could do as she chose.

In retrospect, she guessed she should've seen what was coming next. Booth started going on about relationships, and how they were in one, that having this baby-their daughter-changed everything. Brennan refused, saying it didn't change those things he was saying, at least not for her. They were still partners, still friends, but that was all she could offer.

Didn't he know how hard it was for her? She was going through enough changes as it was, adjusting to more lab hours than field work, and no working on weekends. Her world was changing and he had always been the one stable thing, so why did that have to change? Why did anything have to happen? She'd agreed to let him be there for the baby, couldn't that be enough? Couldn't he be happy with what she was offering?

The trouble was that he wasn't sure he could. Of course, he said, he'd be there for the baby as much as she'd let him, but he wasn't entirely vague when speaking of how much he wanted to be there for her as well. They were a family after all, and it wasn't like he was proposing, because he knew she'd refuse anyway. All he wanted was the chance to be there for them both, his daughter and her mother.

But she wasn't ready, not yet. There was still so much to think about, so much to consider. Her whole world was changing, adjusting to better suit this being growing safely inside her. The changes were necessary; the addition of certain items such as a crib and changing table in her guest room, and Angela was already asking what color she wanted to paint the room. Changes were happening for the child, not for her.

_"You promised me, Booth." She cried. "You promised when this whole thing started and you agreed to contribute, you said nothing would change. You promised me nothing would change between us."_

_"It didn't." Booth declared, his words falling like lead between them. "At least not for me."_

He wanted a relationship, a ready-made family, and it wasn't something she could bring herself to offer. A family, in the sense of a mother, father, and child, almost always ended in some form of pain or hatred. One needed to look no further than the cases they solved to see what happened when things went wrong. If something happened between her and Booth, if they were to ultimately terminate their relationship, what would happen to their child? She couldn't risk damaging her any more than necessary. The last thing she wanted was to have them end up hating each other with a baby stuck in the middle. Couldn't they agree to just raise it the way things were, just like she'd planned all along?

A tear trickled down her cheek as she watched a car pass by her window. It was late, but the baby was up and moving, which meant she was, too.

How had she let things get this way? How had her carefully laid plans turned into such a mess? She had a plan, and in Brennan's experience, plans were what worked best.

She told him to be happy, that he was more than welcome to find someone else to satisfy any needs he might have had. She might have been lying when she told him it wouldn't bother her, but she thought it was what Booth needed to hear. He deserved to be just as happy as she would be when things panned out the way they were supposed to. The problem existed in the fact he didn't want just anyone else, he wanted her.

_"You're asking for something I'm not prepared to give, Booth. I'm sorry." Brennan spoke softly, her hand absentmindedly rubbing against her stomach._

_Booth rubbed a hand across his face and sighed. "Yeah," He muttered. "Me too."_

After that, he stood and got ready to leave, citing a need to be up early for Parker the following morning. Brennan knew about his weekend plans, so it wasn't entirely a lie, but something told her it was something more than that. The way he left, the look on his face...it wasn't something she could bring herself to think of lightly.

There were so many things, so many conflicting emotions, that battled in her mind for attention. What he was asking, what he wanted her to give, was something she'd allowed herself to indulge in several times over the course of her pregnancy. She supposed it was normal, thinking of what society considered normal. Still, something had shifted, and Booth had clearly noticed it too. Seeing them sitting there, watching a movie on television while eating dinner with their feet propped up on her coffee table, Booth talking to her pregnant stomach. It all seemed so frighteningly real, like everything he'd been talking about already existed.

But she shot him down.

As if on cue, their child stirred and started kicking from within, reminding her that even at such a lonely moment, she was still not alone.

She eyed the phone on the table and knew how easy it would be to call him and amend the situation just as quickly as it had begun, but Brennan knew it would take more than that. Time and effort, and perhaps a little honesty on both parts, but she knew they could never go back to how they were before. They were stuck in an awkward limbo, so much more than just partners it wasn't even funny anymore, and yet not partners in the life sense either. There wasn't a definition for what they'd become, a set of rules or expected behaviors, and that was part of what scared Brennan the most.

Still, as she felt the baby move again, she knew she could never bring herself to regret the decision she made. Everything might be more complicated and tipped on its axis than it had ever been, but Brennan felt herself believing that somehow everything would turn out the way it was supposed to, whether it was how she planned or not.

A few minutes later, the baby finally managed to calm down, as did she. She flipped off the living room lamp before finally settling in to sleep.


	5. You're Still You

**Author's Note: I was planning on writing angst again, I really was. I had a piece half finished when all my inspiration...vanished. It just disappeared. So, this is what happened in its place. I have had the final image of this piece basically embedded in my brain for the longest time, but couldn't figure out a way to write them there, so to speak. This is the way, apparently.**

**Anyway, this would occur sometime late in December 2009, after Christmas. If anyone is interested in the timeline.**

**Reviews are amazing as always. Let me know what you think!**

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Brennan sighed at her own reflection as she tried pulling on her T-shirt over her pregnant stomach, watching as it protruded quite prominently. The shirt went down some, though not enough to cover her entire abdomen. Sighing, she wished she would've been able to convince Booth a trip back to her apartment would've been worthwhile.

"Everything alright, Bones?"

She sighed again after hearing her partner's voice calling from down the hall. In the confined space of his bathroom, she realized that eventually she'd have to go out and face him. It didn't bother her really, but she still felt annoyed at the way he dragged her away from the lab an hour before, automatically expecting her to go with him. Yes she was on bed rest, but it wasn't like she was working. The power at her building had gone out due to the heavy amount of snow they were experiencing, and rather than freezing, her next choice had been to stay at the lab with its back-up system. That didn't last long; after discovering her plan, Booth had driven through the snow himself to find her.

"Bones?"

Brennan jumped. This time his voice was coming from just outside the door. She was surprised to find there were tears in her eyes. The shirt had yet to budge, stretching just far enough cling against her chest, refusing to cover her stomach fully. "I'm fine, Booth. Go back into the living room."

Booth heard the frustration in her voice and shook his head. "Bones, come on...what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I already told you-"

He tested the handle and watched as it opened.

"Booth!" Brennan cried.

"I was worried about you, alright?" He replied before taking in the scene before him. Brennan stood, hands clenching the white fabric of her shirt as she tried to adjust it the right way. A pair of blue pajama pants laid in a heap near her feet, apparently having been discarded in her frustration. Her eyes were puffy, but Brennan-his Bones-was struggling to not cry. "Bones-"

She flinched away from him when he reached a hand out. "The pajamas I had packed no longer fit." Brennan sighed, now completely frustrated. "If you had just let me stay at the lab, this would not have become a problem."

He held up a finger and disappeared from view.

She could hear him rummaging around in another room and she bowed her head, silently wishing she could be anywhere else. It was bad enough she was having trouble fitting into her own clothes, but that Booth was witness to her troubles as well was almost overwhelming.

"Here," Booth spoke as he handed her an over-sized shirt and a pair of his own pajama pants. "I know they won't fit perfectly, but you'll be a lot more comfortable." He smiled and brushed a strand of hair from her eye. "Everything okay?"

"You don't have to be doing any of this, you know. I would've been perfectly content staying at the lab and-"

Booth held up a hand to silence her. "I know, Bones, but just humor me, alright? I'll be out in the living room."

Brennan stood awkwardly to the side of the living room just a few minutes later, wearing the clothes Booth handed her. He'd been right about them being a little bigger than she needed, but he was right about her being comfortable as well. All he was trying to do was help after all, but she still felt a little awkward not knowing what she was to do. She had her laptop, and working on her new book surely couldn't be frowned upon seeing as she wouldn't be standing for long periods or performing strenuous activities, right? She was about to grab it when she'd apparently caught his attention.

"Feeling better?" He asked, a smile on his face and mug perched against his knee.

"Much better, actually." Brennan replied, bowing her head as she felt her emotions getting the best of her again. She fiddled with the hem on the shirt she wore, the white one with black collar and hems on the sleeves, the one she'd seen him wear a few times whenever they were simply spending time together. "I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier, I should've realized you were only trying to help."

"It's not a big deal. Come on, I made hot chocolate. I used that organic soy milk stuff for you." Booth replied, gesturing to the mug that sat steaming on the table.

"Since when do you have soy milk?" Brennan asked, still fidgeting with her shirt.

Booth shrugged as he took a sip. "Since you started hanging out here a lot more often."

It was a simple answer, but one Brennan found herself incredibly touched by. They hadn't exactly defined who they were to each other, just that they were really close friends and that he was the father of the child growing inside of her. Still, he'd been around more often than before, if that were even possible, and she found herself actually missing the gestures he made like buying things he knew she'd like when he wasn't around. "That's-" Brennan shook her head. "I'm not sure why you'd go through the trouble, but thank you."

"First of all," Booth replied as he sat up. "It wasn't trouble. It was sitting right there next to the other kinds of milk."

Brennan nodded and smiled, finally moving to sit next to him. "What's the second of all?"

Booth laughed and shook his head, figuring she'd be that observant. "I did it for you, Bones. I know you like it, and so I got it for you. You're important to me, I want you to be happy." He smiled, hoping he could calm her nerves. He could tell she felt a little uncomfortable about something, what he wasn't sure, but as he saw a tear trickle down her cheek, he wanted to make whatever it was better. Wrapping an arm around her, Booth gave Brennan a squeeze. "Bones?"

She closed her eyes, swallowing hard and waiting a few seconds until she felt comfortable talking. "Thank you, Booth. You're very kind. It's just this pregnancy. It's messing with me hormonally speaking, and I'm prone to start crying at any moment. It makes me feel as if there's something wrong with me."

"There's nothing wrong with you, you're still yourself." Booth replied, hoping it was enough to make her feel better. Her eyes were still pointed to the ground, avoiding his, so he ducked his head and smiled, nudging her a little with his knee. "Hey, Bones?" He waited, watching until her eyes rose to meet his. "I mean it. You're still you. Smart, successful...beautiful." He reached over with his other hand to grab hers. "Having this baby might mean a few changes, but that stuff, who you are? That will always be the same. And just so you know? It's okay to get a little emotional sometimes, you're human."

"I know, but I feel as if I have this new set of behaviors everyone expects me to adapt to, as if in fact doing everything those books say will somehow make me a better mother, or a person at that." Brennan replied, looking down at their hands before smiling for the first time since they started the conversation. "You're the only one who..._aside from dragging me from the lab_...isn't asking me to change anything. Though I fail to see what you could possibly find attractive about someone who is prone to hormonal abnormalities at any moment, and who is so pregnant she can hardly practice normal activities by herself without some form of assistance. And I waddle now, Booth...well, maybe not _waddle_, but close to-"

Booth placed a finger over her lips. He knew very well how nervous and agitated she was, but her rambling only gave it away that much further. "You're fine, okay? No one is asking you to be any different then you are. Yeah, so maybe you go a little crazy." He saw a look flash through her eyes and was quick to amend. "At _times_. But that is perfectly normal. And as for how I could possibly find you, someone who is 'prone to hormonal abnormalities and is so pregnant you can hardly practice normal activities' attractive? The word I used was beautiful, Bones. And I meant it. It's because you are. The baby in here?" He said as he placed his hand on her stomach. "That is why. Everything that changes, the cravings you get and the mood swings you have...I'm willing to deal with it all, because I know you're doing it all for the little one resting in there, my baby."

Brennan placed her hand over his, fingers brushing lightly against his own. "Our baby, actually, but I see what you mean."

Booth smiled, because he knew that somehow she'd realized through all of the rambling that was going on exactly what he was trying to tell her. Not only was there nothing wrong with her, but she was more than alright, mood swings and all. "Our baby." He repeated. There were some days he had to repeat it over and over, staring in amazement at the picture he kept tucked away, just to believe it himself. Sighing, he glanced back at their mugs of hot chocolate. "You wanna try it before it gets cold?"

They settled in on the couch, sipping quietly while watching a movie play out on the screen. Booth pulled an afghan of the back of the couch and used it to cover them both as, slowly, Brennan's head found its way to rest against his shoulder. "Hey, Bones?" He whispered quietly against the crown of her head, breathing in slowly so as not to interrupt the tranquility of the moment right before he knew they'd both fall asleep.

"Hmm?" Brennan replied, an arm snaking around him, content in simply staying warm.

Booth's hand moved beneath the blanket, finding its way to rest securely above the baby growing safely inside her. "You're gonna make a great mom."

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**Aww...warm and fuzzies, right? By the way, I love that final part, the them falling asleep together thing, though I do admit it's a little cliche'. Also, I tried keeping Brennan in character as much as possible while still remaining realistic about the situation. Because yes, Brennan might be able to compartmentalize certain things, I don't think she'd be able to just surpass all of the normal things that go along with carrying a child. Just saying.**

**Anyway...review please! They're very appreciated.**


	6. Declaration

**Author's Note: This, again, came out fluffier than intended. There's actually probably more fluff than you can shake a stick at. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. In this one, it's about early December, maybe early January. No real specific time. These aren't exactly connected by the way, in case you haven't noticed. Just things my shipping-riddled mind conjure when I'm taking a break during exam week.**

**Reviews are awesome by the way. Feel free to leave one!**

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Wind whipped around her as she climbed out of the car, staring at the building in front of her.

_One. Two. Three._ Brennan breathed in deep, a little kick from inside seemingly propelling her forward. She knew why she was here, knew why she wanted to do this. For weeks, the idea had battled with everything she'd ever thought in her mind. Everything that she'd ever thought about what she wanted in life had been altered in a matter of months, and she was still trying to come to terms with everything.

He was probably busy. It was a Saturday, did he have Parker? It was possible, but they'd spoken on the phone a few hours before and he didn't say anything.

Brennan smoothed her hair down, mentally running through what she planned to say before finally knocking on the door. Fifteen seconds passed, and with them, her confidence faltered a little. Had his plans changed? He'd made himself clear. Booth said what he wanted, but she'd been just as adamant about not wanting the same thing as he did.

"Bones." The door opened to reveal Booth standing there in socks, jeans and a t-shirt. He was a little surprised to see her, but none the less pleased. "Everything okay?"

Brennan nodded as she tightened her coat around her waist, groaning inwardly as she realized it wouldn't get much tighter. She already knew if she said anything to Angela it would automatically mean shopping, something she already found herself dreading. "Yes, I just-" Brennan sighed, the words she had planned so carefully before suddenly seeming flat in her mind. She could say them, but they still didn't seem like enough. "I believe I have something to tell you. I realize it is kind of sudden, but it's something I know you've been considering for quite some time."

He studied her, watched the way her eyes matched his and yet she still seemed kind of distant, wary almost. "You sure you're alright? It's cold, come on in and-"

"Seeley?" A voice called from inside the apartment. Feet padded against the carpet and the head of a blonde woman peered around the corner. She smiled. "Oh, you're-"

Brennan's mouth hung open, her feet momentarily cemented to the floor. A sick feeling dwelling in the pit of her stomach, one for once not caused by morning sickness."I did not realize you had company. I'm sorry, this...should not have happened. I should have realized I would be too late. I'll see you at work on Monday."

"Bones, wait." Booth cried, his hand reaching out just in time to miss catching her arm. He looked back into his apartment, sighing before he heading out the door. "Bones, I need to talk to you." He saw her disappear around the corner and down the small set of stairs. Thinking about following her, Booth knew it wouldn't do any good once she got in her car. He turned around, punching his fist into the wall before leaning his forehead against it.

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Brennan finished typing a sentence, her laptop resting against her knees, before reaching out for her water. She'd returned home after going to Booth's feeling frustrated. The only way to properly channel it was to write, and write she did. She picked up her laptop again and started clicking furiously at the keys. She wanted so desperately to get her mind away from things, to focus on something other than the conversation she could have had with Booth if things at his apartment hadn't gone the way they had. It wasn't like he didn't have the right to his own life. He deserved to be happy.

She looked up at the sound of a knock; a knock which she chose to ignore. All the lights in her apartment were off except for the one by the sofa, maybe he'd think she was asleep. There was another knock before she heard him speak. "Bones, it's me. I know you're home. Look, could you just let me in?"

She closed her eyes, thinking if she ignored it long enough he'd go away. There was no way she could face him after the way she'd reacted.

The doorknob clicked, rattling before the lock finally released. Booth made his way around the corner and stood silently, waiting for her to address him.

"Do you plan on making a habit of breaking and entering?" Brennan asked, her eyes not lifting from her work.

"I didn't plan on doing that. I was kind of hoping you'd let me in." Booth replied. He stood at the edge of the couch, just close enough he could touch her if he wanted. "You didn't answer your phone."

Brennan shrugged. "I turned it off."

"Bones-"

"I have work to do, Booth. You can stay, but it will be a waste of time. I won't be of much use in conversation." Brennan knew she was being cold, but it was taking all the strength she had to not look at him. It made perfect sense, that he would show up after what happened. She just hadn't counted on it happening before she prepared something to tell him.

Booth sighed, fidgeting before finally lifting her laptop from her grasp and putting it on the table. "Talk to me. What happened?"

She wanted to fight him, but knew it would be no use. "I stopped by with the intention of speaking with you. I apologize for interrupting what was clearly an important time for you. Though I knew it was a possibility, I was not expecting you to have a date."

"Date?" Booth groaned. He knew Brennan had a jealous side, he'd been witness of it before. When she was pregnant and even more emotional than normal however, the bitterness in her voice sounded even worse. "If you had bothered to stay, you would have known-"

"I would have known what, Booth? That you're happy with her? I'm okay with that. I realized the moment I turned down a permanent relationship with you it was entirely possible that you would find someone else. Just because we are having this baby does not mean you are not free to approach other people, it was something I made perfectly clear." Brennan replied before picking up her glass and stalking into the kitchen as best she could.

"Bones, that was not it at all. I know what you think you saw, but-" Booth protested.

"Just go home, Booth. It's rude to leave someone like that, even if you wanted to speak with me." Brennan replied, her back turned as she refilled her glass.

Booth leaned against the door frame of the kitchen, studying her. She was being difficult, and was apparently hurt by what she thought was her interrupting a date. Brennan was usually scientific at best, not believing anything until there was evidence. How could someone simply being there upset her so much?

Brennan turned around and placed her glass on the island. She stared at the tiles, her fingertips slowly wiping at the condensation on her glass. His eyes were burning into her, daring her to say something else. The room seemed to grow a little smaller, the space between them not as big as it seemed before. She heard his steps scratch against the tile.

"That woman back there?" Booth began, his voice calm and laced with patience. He wanted to reach out and touch her, to brush away the eyelash that had fallen to her cheek. "That was Jared's girlfriend. She couldn't get a hold of him, wanted to know if I'd seen him."

Her cheeks burned red, but she finally rose her head to stare back at him. "She couldn't just call you?"

He fought the urge to smile, thinking of how she'd just managed to sound so unlike Brennan and yet exactly like her at the same time. "She did, we were going to go out looking for him, look at all his old haunts. He hasn't been drinking lately, but he never left a note saying he was planning on taking off."

She tilted her head to the side. "You should be out looking for him, Booth. Why are you here when Jared is wherever he is, doing what you know he's-"

"That is, until he called. His job called him away on business at the last minute. He lost his luggage on the plane and had just gotten it back, along with about a dozen worried messages." Booth replied, pausing to run a hand through his hair. "I feel kind of bad for doubting the guy. He's got a good thing going on with Leah, I don't know why he'd wanna ruin that."

Brennan nodded. The air in the room grew still, both partners unsure of what was supposed to happen next, of what they wanted to take place. "I'm sorry." She blurted, feeling like it was the only appropriate thing to say. "I blew things out of proportion."

Booth offered a lopsided grin. "Don't worry about it. Come here."

She left her glass on the counter and walked to him, allowing him to pull her close. She rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes.

He ran a hand down her back before pulling away. Running a thumb across her cheek, he watched as her eyes watered with tears. Her swelled stomach pressed gently against his, a reminder of the life they had created, of why they were there in the first place. "What were you going to say?"

She blinked, the tranquility of the moment suddenly broken. "What are you talking about?" She asked, hoping he wasn't talking about what she already knew he was.

Booth brushed away the eyelash before clearing his throat. "Before you left, you said you wanted to tell me something. It seemed kind of important before you decided to leave."

"It doesn't matter, I'll be fine. It was something I hadn't entirely thought through, so it's not like it matters." Brennan replied, shaking her head. Without reason or explanation, tears began to trickle, slowly, down her cheeks. She hated the vulnerability she felt until he took her shoulders in his hands, his hand tilting her chin up to look at him. "What?"

"Why are you lying to me? And don't say you're not, Bones, because I know you." Booth replied. He watched her shift in her place, unsure of just how to say what she wanted to tell him. He wanted nothing more than to make her feel better, to take away that pain she was feeling, even if it meant taking a risk. "Talk to me, Temperance. What's going on here?"

He was doing that thing he did whenever he tried getting her to open up, and she hated him for it because it always worked. She felt his thumb rubbing circles against her skin. "Booth-"

"_Bones._" Booth sighed her name, his breath coming out warm from his lips.

Her stomach pushed against him again, whether it was because she stepped closer to him or he closer to her she wasn't entirely sure, but she was again offered a reminder of their child. The reason she'd even thought of the conclusion she had come to. Brennan drew in a deep breath before speaking. "I have reconsidered certain details in regards to...us, and I'd like to reevaluate my position."

"What are you saying?" Booth asked, though he was pretty sure he knew the answer. His mouth grew dry.

"The truth is, I had not completely processed why I reacted the way I had when you first asked me about the possibility of a relationship. " Brennan replied, taking a step back to look at him. He was asking her, and she had put it off long enough. If se was going to tell him everything, to put everything out there, it had to happen the right way. "I didn't want a relationship, I didn't want something that was unnecessary; we already have a relationship, so why should it change? Our child is going to be born, and I know most people are together in at least some form, but we're partners. Partners whose partnership has grown very complicated. However-"

Booth watched as she shook her head, her chin trembling as she fought back tears. He could tell she was trying hard, slowly building up to something she needed to say, but maybe needed a little push. "However?" He asked, his hand reaching out to brush at her cheek.

"The incident at your apartment today allowed me to realize something." Brennan replied, her lips curving slightly as she offered a shrug. "I know it shouldn't, but seeing her there today...it kind of bothered me. You deserve to be happy, Booth. I want you to be happy, I just hadn't realized the possibility of you actually moving forward in a relationship would possibly bother me. Not that it..." She wavered when she saw the look cross his face. "I mean, it doesn't. It shouldn't, but I suppose it some ways it does have a certain affect on me I failed to consider."

"No one is gonna come between us, you get that, right?" Booth asked, feeling as if he were walking on eggshells, like anything he said could tip her off the ledge she was standing precariously on. If he was lucky, he could get her to fall on his side. "You and this baby mean too much to me to let anything like that happen."

"But why?" Brennan asked in reply. She chose to physically distance herself by backing up a few steps, wanting an attempt to clearly read his reply. "How could you possibly want someone like me? Someone who is so clearly consumed by her work that she has to be reminded repeatedly she should be taking it easier, that the baby needs her to rest? I have never been good with the traditional family setting, and have therefore seen it as obsolete. If I am committed to someone, I don't need a piece of paper informing me of that fact. I just-" Her breath hitched, and she didn't flinch away when Booth reached out to touch her. "I'm scared, Booth. I'm scared that despite the things we might have said, that this situation will cause our entire relationship to change, that it will render it unrepairable. I'm...afraid that because of my original decision to not enter a more stable family unit with you that it somehow negates any right I have to change my mind in the future. But most of all, I'm just afraid that-"

Booth watched her as she spoke, the way she stared him so intently in the eye and yet still seemed wary. "You're afraid of what?"

"I'm afraid that despite the way I've read the books, that I have consulted several leading educators in the field, I'm still scared that I'll...be a bad mother. While I understand what they all say, it still doesn't make me feel any better. With what we do in our daily lives, I'm afraid I won't be able to provide adequate safety to it. What if someone takes him or her, or what if we are out in the field and something happens at the child care facility, and we are unable to reach him or her in an adequate amount of time. What if-"

"Bones, stop." Booth spoke, catching her wrist just as her arm was about to fly upward. "I need you to listen to me, okay? Because those feelings? They're perfectly normal. I mean, sure, in our line of work, we probably have a higher level of danger than say the average business man or teacher maybe. That also means we have more need for security, for protection." He looked her in the eye before placing his hand firmly against her stomach. "This baby in here, Bones? Will be the luckiest kid in the world. You know why? Because it's gonna have us as it's parents. Because we, no matter what happens between us, will do everything possible to keep him safe and loved." He smiled as he saw some of the stress slowly leave her face. "Or her, you know it could still be a girl."

Brennan shook her head and laughed a little, reveling in the small comfort the felt by his hand resting softly mere inches away from where their baby was growing inside of her. "You can't possibly know that yet."

"Yeah, you're right. But you know what I do know?" Booth asked, knowing he had to say it whether she was ready to hear it or not. It was something he'd already made clear, but it was certainly worth reinforcing. "I know that whenever you _do_ change your mind, I will be here. I'm not saying we have to get married, or get a house in the suburbs or anything like that. I would never push you to do anything you didn't feel comfortable with. That doesn't mean I won't at least ask you one day, because if you're saying what I think you're saying, then yes. You do have the right to change your mind, you still have me. This, right here?...It's what I want. If that still scares you, that's okay. I'm not going to push you."

Everything he was saying was everything she had already imagined him saying, but it somehow held that much more importance. "It does. It does still scare me, because statistically speaking, most relationships even if there are children involved, do not last." She replied. "However-"

"However?" Booth interrupted. He took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for her to push them in one direction or the other.

Brennan smiled at his obvious enthusiasm. "We've never exactly followed the line statistics have provided."

Booth nodded, his mind still not catching up with her words. Hearing them were one thing, but interpreting them was another. "So, what you're saying is..."

"Yes. I would like to attempt to defeat the odds." Brennan replied. She shifted her position before placing her hand over his, resting them both securely against her stomach. She looked back at him, wanting to assure him what she was saying was real, to let her next words sink in."With you."


	7. The Safest Place

**Author's Note: I know this idea has been done before, the her showing up at his place thing. I wanted to do it a little different, at least trying to highlight the situation as a whole, maybe add some insight into both Brennan and Booth in this moment.**

**I'm not entirely sure the baby will be a product of The Scene anymore, mostly because I realize now how much I would love to see happy and flirty, couple-y BB. Either way, we will find out, won't we? Happy finale viewing everybody, I hope you enjoy it. And please, leave me a review. Thanks!**

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He didn't say anything when she showed up at his door at almost midnight, eyes red and puffy from either lack of sleep or crying, or possibly both. Instead, he shuffled her in and shut the door before pouring her a glass of water. He sat with her until she drank it all, twenty minutes maybe, hoping she would talk. They were going to be parents in a little more than three months, shouldn't they be at the part were they could tell each other things already?

But she didn't say anything, didn't look him in the eye. He wasn't going to push. It was enough she'd actually come to him rather than trying to work through whatever it was by herself.

When she finished the water, Booth took the cup from her and placed it on the table before taking her by the wrist and pulling her down the hall. He caught the look Brennan sent him, asking him without words what he was up to. Booth wordlessly pulled down the comforter and gestured with his head. "Get in, you're tired."

Brennan could have fought, but she knew better. The image that left such a hollow and sick feeling within her begged her to talk to him, to confess the fear she was feeling, but she couldn't bring herself to formulate the words. She excused herself to the bathroom before finally sliding into bed next to him.

She was there, that was what mattered, not why or how. Booth tried convincing himself it was fact. He'd asked her to stay countless times before, when they were staying in his apartment after a case and he felt the baby move from within her. Brennan would usually grab her coat and leave somewhere after that, still uncomfortable with the idea of them as a couple. It was ironic really, that he'd finally got everything he wanted, but it was still out of his grasp.

Brennan lay motionless beside him except the hand that stroked over her stomach. She still swore to everyone else that being pregnant wasn't changing her, that she was still the same person, but she and the baby growing inside her knew better. She was finally at the point where she was calling it baby and not fetus, whereas Booth had been calling it a baby all along. Booth. She smiled in the dark at the notion of how safe she felt in that moment, of how she could finally sleep. Until sleep never came. Every time she closed her eyes the fear came back again, catapulting to the forefront of her mind. It wasn't real, why would something so obviously untrue bother her so badly?

Sleep was tugging at his lids when he heard a quiet sob. It took Booth a second to register that the sound was real, that it was coming from the woman laying next to him. He rolled on his side, feeling incredibly scared and yet so sure of the fact he wanted to make whatever was troubling her go away. "Hey, Bones-" He whispered in the dark. He felt tears on her cheek with his thumb and wiped them away. Asking if she was alright wasn't an option, not when he knew she'd probably try and lie anyway.

His hand felt warm and reassuring against her skin. He was waiting patiently, hoping for her to give him some sort of answer. "It doesn't matter, Booth. Just go to sleep, maybe I should go."

"No." More forcefully than he intended it to sound, but he felt her settle in next to him. "Bones?" He stroked her cheek again, watching her face as it was framed softly in the moonlight. "Did something happen?"

Brennan bit her lip. A sob still managed to escape, and at that, she turned into his arms. "It's not rational. I know what I saw wasn't _real_, it was just my brain processing information. It...it felt real. Booth." She cried against his chest. It didn't matter that this was what she had been fighting against all along, because she couldn't remember anymore why she'd been fighting so badly.

Booth rubbed circles on her back as she cried, her body shaking until he pulled her closer. "So, you had a nightmare?"

"Yes," Brennan confirmed. "I was...we were looking for her. She went missing, Booth. Someone-someone took her, was trying to hurt her. When we-" She slammed her eyes shut as she buried her head further against him, as if it could make the memory of the panic she felt upon waking up feel any better. "It was too late. When we discovered where they had taken her, it was already too late. They _hurt_ her, Booth. She was a little girl, and they just tossed her away. Our child. When you-" Brennan gulped, fighting the lump in her throat. "You found him, and he looked me right in the eye. He said it was my fault, that I should have been watching. He got what he wanted, took her like that, and it was my fault."

Booth tightened his hold, saying nothing but calming sounds, whispering quietly in her ear, until he felt her body calm down against him. "It wasn't real, Bones. It didn't happen. Nothing was your fault, you know that, right?"

"What if it happens, Booth? What if-"

"Hey-" Booth nudged her before tilting her head up. He caught her eye and swallowed, amazed and scared of how vulnerable she looked in that moment. "I don't wanna hear you think like that. Okay? It's not real. Yeah, it could happen. But Bones? If _anyone_ hurts you or our baby girl, I'm not just gonna 'find them'." His hand found her stomach, and he smiled. "They're a goner. Dead. Yeah, I know there could be consequences, but as far as I'm concerned? It'll be worth it."

Brennan knew he wasn't lying, she knew more about what he'd done to protect her than he knew she did. "Alpha male." She laughed as she wiped a tear away.

"Damn straight." He replied as he kissed her forehead. "I love you. That's a guarantee. I know what you think about that, but I just needed you to-"

"I know." Brennan nodded. It was a fact, and even if she couldn't completely formulate why, she knew what she felt for him was the same. She opened her mouth to speak, but the only thing she could think in that moment was of how she finally felt safe again. The fear that had been surrounding her for almost an hour since she woke up at her own apartment disappeared, and it had left exhaustion in its wake. She wants to tell him, wants to say the words she's sure he wants to hear, but plants a kiss slowly and softly against his lips. "Thank you."

Booth smiles in the dark, grateful that they've at least gotten this far. "Sleep, Bones. We've got another appointment tomorrow morning. You need your rest."

Most men wouldn't remember dates and things for appointments like that, at least that was what Angela told her a few days before when Booth reminded her to take it easy and that she really needed to eat something. Booth was different, this she was beginning to realize, and she knew she was more than lucky to have him. She settled her head against his chest, smiling as she felt him caressing the swell of her stomach. It was something Brennan used to find ridiculous, because the baby couldn't exactly feel it, but now it's a reminder of the life and the family they all have together. "'Night, Booth."

Booth pressed another kiss against her head. "Good night, Bones." He whispered back, his eyes already shutting. But he didn't sleep, not until he felt her settle in even further, finally falling asleep where she felt safe and at home.


	8. Coming Home

**Author's Note: I went from angry to excited about that ending of last night's finale in a matter of hours. It's sad and it's painful, but if written right, it could turn into something really great. With David and Emily acting, I don't see how it couldn't. As long as they don't drop the fact that yes, Brennan loves him.**

**Anyway, this is an obligatory post-ep piece. I posted in here because while it doesn't deal with the baby idea necessarily, it does pertain to the finale. It wasn't what I expected, but I enjoyed writing it.**

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She stays strong for him, because it's what she has to do. In the days and weeks following his surgery, she finds herself going home by herself and feeling more exhausted than ever. She manages to hide it during the day, but once she finally falls into bed at night, it becomes obvious. There's no knock at the door, no knock on her office door before dragging her out for lunch.

The day he's released is one that she realizes she dreads and looks forward to. He doesn't go back to work right away, at least field work. His work is behind the scenes, paperwork more than anything else, because Booth refuses to feel useless. They aren't partners though, not really. More than anything, she wants to hear him call her Bones; to see the smirk he uses for her on his face.

Breathing. It's what she feels like she's doing, resolving to working on limbo cases until Booth returns. Because he will, she reasons, it's inevitable. They bring in another agent and she works in the lab, choosing to send Wendell or Nigel-Murray rather than going herself. They need the experience, she argues. Angela said it was because she doesn't want to be reminded, and Brennan doesn't want her to know she's right.

They have coffee a few times. It's the only thing that's still the same though, it's the one thing still reminiscent of the partnership they used to have. This man that sits in front of her, who looks at her and studies her face, searching for something he recognizes; he's the same and he's not at the same time. Brennan waits for the moment when everything clicks with him. She never realized she loved the way he slowly leaned over the table and invaded her personal space until he stopped doing it.

He says he's sorry, which is really like a knife to the heart, because he doesn't remember them being partners. It's not the working she misses, because in the weeks following his release Brennan realizes it's the smaller moments in between working she misses most. The way he could tell she was upset about something and would try anything to cheer her up, or the way he'd show up with food. His smile whenever he saw Parker, or when she finally got a pop culture reference right. She misses the moments that draw them together and make them not just "Agent Booth and Doctor Brennan" but "Booth and Bones".

The meetings with Sweets are the hardest. She goes by herself, he goes, but they still manage to meet together as well. Sweets says it's important they start to build the trust between them, if they are to ever become partners again. Brennan thinks it's a good thing until she starts hearing him talking about the progress he has made. Not much, a few times with Parker, and something out at the shooting range, but she wants more. She wants him to stand and take her hand, pulling him with him until they're down the hall and in the SUV, heading back to the diner or maybe some place different so they can talk.

She loves him. It's a truth she resigned herself to in the moments before he woke up. Love never existed before, but what she feels for him is deeper and stronger than anything she's ever dared to feel for anyone else. She could have told him, wanted to on several occasions, but it wouldn't have done any good. He wasn't 'her' Booth; not until his memories returned anyhow.

He stops by the lab a few times. The reasoning, at least according to him, is hoping it will spark something. Brennan keeps her distance but remains close. He brings it up later, asking why they're supposed to be so close according to what everyone says but she isn't showing it, and the vulnerability in his voice is enough to make her cry.

Three months, two weeks and five days; not that she's been counting or anything, but that's how long it takes. He comes to her office asking to talk, and she wants to refuse, knowing it isn't going to help anything.

"I would love to speak with you Booth, but I have to get home. My novel is almost finalized and I'm making the final touches on my manuscript, so if you'll excuse me-" Brennan brushes past him, hoping that he doesn't notice the way she reaches up and brushes a tear away.

Booth looks on, he notices as she wipes the tear away, and he knows he's the cause of it. "Bones, wait; I said I wanted to talk to you."

Brennan freezes in the doorway with her back to him. Her knees feel like jello, so badly she has to grip the frame to keep standing. She takes a deep breath before turning around. His eyes are filled with hope, but a question is in them, one she's sure he expects her to answer. "You just...you called me Bones."

Booth nods patiently, waiting for her to get it. "Yeah, I did. Bones." He grins, totally unprepared for the way she launches herself at him, wrapping him so tight he's afraid they both might break.

"You remember? How much-" Brennan's voice falters before she pulls back. "Tell me something."

"What?" Booth asks. Her look is cautious, like she's afraid.

"Something only you could possibly know, something you _remember_." Brennan cries back in response. She is so dangerously close to crying she can feel the tears threatening to spill over. Her vision is blurry until she at last wipes them away.

"I-" Booth pauses as his eyes scan the room. As much as he wants everyone to know, he'd really like for this moment to be just between them. When his eyes catch on the top of her desk he smiles again. "When you were in school, Andy Fluger taped a Brainy Smurf to your locker. You were so upset because you wanted Smurfette." He walks over and picks the figurine up, like it's the most natural thing to do.. "I gave you this to-"

"Remind me that I was better than Smurfette." Brennan finished, a smile breaking out in full force on her face. A part of her is still afraid, still unsure of just how much she is supposed to believe. She's been waiting for this moment for the longest time. "Tell me something else."

Booth sets the figurine back on her desk before rubbing his hands together. Certain things are still foggy, but he knows-he _knows_-that he loves her, that he did before. "After that fall I had on the ice, I had a concussion. I needed to stay awake, so we went skating. You told me I was made of 'very good stuff'. Is that proof enough for you?"

Her head shakes back and forth a few times before her bag drops to the floor and she clears the space between them again. Pressing her lips against his, she searches for something, tugs at him until he's kissing her back. Her hands find their way to his face, keeping it cemented against hers before her arms wrap around his neck. She takes his tongue into her mouth, revels in the feel of his mouth against hers.

Booth is surprised at first to say the least, but he's not one to complain. This is Bones, the one who's been there all along, who didn't walk away when he was at his lowest point. One hand rests against her hip and pulls her completely against him. The other snakes up her back before finally coming to rest with his thumb just below her breast. He applies pressure there, enough to elicit a moan from somewhere deep within her, and it wakes something up within him. He knows her, knows that even if she wants this just as badly as he does, she still has the ability to compartmentalize better than anyone else. This moment they're having has to last. His thumb starts rubbing small circles as his tongue slowly starts moving in time, the same circular pattern, the same smooth transition, until finally they pull apart for air.

Her forehead rests against his, her eyes closed because at the moment she's sure if she opens them she'll crumble under all the weight of the moment they're having, even if the idea isn't logical. "I know this isn't rational to say seeing as you were here all along, but I missed you."

"I love you." He says it like he's said it in his mind a million times before, only this time she hears him. "I know that's probably not the perfect thing to say right now, but for the last few months, everything felt empty. I knew something was missing, and when everything came back, I knew. I knew I had to tell you."

Brennan's hands are linked behind his neck, and she uses that to pull him closer. "Nothing is certain in life except death. Happiness, love, a family that will protect you and feel for you what you feel for them; all of those things are not guaranteed. When we are born, those are the things we have to fight for ourselves. I have realized over the course of these past three months not to take anything for granted, Booth. Because where you calling me Bones was once something that completely infuriated me, it quickly turned into a term of endearment. It meant something more to me, and I missed that."

It was rare that she expressed that much emotion, was that open with how she felt, and he knew she was opening herself up whether she realized it or not."Bones." He nudged her and grinned as he heard her laugh. "I mean it, you know. I do."

It wasn't perfect yet. They still had bumps in the road, chances to take, and the inevitable meetings with both the FBI and with Cam. But they were partners. They always had been, really. Brennan pressed her lips against his again, this time more softly. "So do I."


	9. Finally Found

**Author's Note: I know it's been a while since the finale, and there are probably hundreds by now of post-ep fics floating around here at FFN and at other places BB related. However, I wanted something non-baby related to put in this thread of stories, and also...it refused to shut up. I mean it. It grabbed hold of me and refused to let go until it was written. **

**I'd like to thank the conversation I had with someone over at The ABY (props to one of the coolest and best groups of Bones fans around), and also a fanvid made to Beyonce's "Halo", which honestly ended up fitting Booth and Brennan pretty much perfectly. Both were big help in getting this written. Thanks a million!**

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The bell above the door jingled as a young couple entered the diner. Booth looked up a second before returning his gaze to the woman sitting across from him. "Can I ask you a question?" He asked as he slowly stirred a spoon around the inside of his coffee mug. It had been two weeks since he had been released from the hospital, but he was still advised to take things very easy.

Brennan shrugged and took a long sip from her cup. "I suppose it would depend on what it was, but yes."

Booth smiled and shook his head. While details as to what was real and what wasn't were still a certain shade of gray, he remembered the absolute sense of honesty she always had. He flicked a stray piece of straw wrapper over to the side of the table, and he thought of how best to ask the question. He'd been back to the lab, had gone to his office for a few things, but until the doctors and Sweets all gave him the go ahead he wasn't allowed to work. He still felt the need to see her though and to be around her, but he had to to figure out the exact reason why. "None of that stuff-you know, what I dreamed-all of that wasn't real?"

"No, your dream was not real." Brennan replied tersely. She was trying her best to be patient with him, and it wasn't exactly like he didn't have the right to ask. "I thought you were aware of that already?"

Booth sighed and shook his head. "That wasn't the question I was actually intending to ask." He pushed his coffee cup to the side and clasped his hands together. They were partners, friends even, but the thought that she wrote and he dreamt them as something far greater than what they were still remained with him. "I know you're an author. I know writing is the way you deal with things, the way you process and sometimes create entertainment. I'm just wondering why of all possible scenarios and situations to write, you chose to write what you did."

Brennan's back stiffened against her chair. She'd been expecting him to ask eventually. A man walked by and accidentally bumped into their table. He apologized just as she was telling him it was fine. As she watched him walk away, she could feel Booth's eyes staring directly at her. "That was not a question."

"Bones." Booth replied, studying her, urging her to say something. Anything. Well, if he was being honest with himself, he didn't want it to be just anything. What Booth wanted was an answer to the question that had plagued him since he'd woken up from the coma. "Talk to me, please."

There was a certain sense of vulnerability to his voice that scared her a little. She'd seen him angry, frustrated, scared, happy-just about every human emotion-and yet she couldn't define the look on his face. "I wrote what I did because...I wanted to. It was a stream of consciousness exercise. I'm sorry if in my practice of relieving stress, I offended you."

Booth reached out and covered her hand with his. He shook his head before darting his tongue out to moisten his lips. "Don't apologize, Bones. That's not how I meant it."

Brennan cocked her head to the side, trying hard to ignore the electricity that traveled up her arm as he ran his thumb across her wrist. She realized something while waiting there in the hospital for him to wake up, but she'd yet to completely process that information. It was something she simply resigned herself to believe in. After all, it wasn't like he felt the same, especially after waking up thinking what he had dreamed was real. "Then how did you mean it?"

Her voice trembled, and Booth nodded his head. He knew the conversation was starting to get uncomfortable for her, but it was something he needed to say. "You wrote us, Bones. _You and me._ That doesn't surprise me, but what does is how you chose to do it. Married. Pregnant. Two things that until recently, you didn't even express an interest in."

Brennan held up a finger, signaling him to wait just a second, before taking a healthy sip from her mug. She set it back down carefully before turning her face back to him. "Speaking of that, due to recent events, I've decided to reevaluate my position on becoming a mother."

"What?" Booth asked, his mouth hanging open. It wasn't what he was expecting her to say. "What made you change your mind?"

She shrugged carelessly, as if her sudden change of mind wasn't that big of a deal at all. "To put it simply, what you said before I took you to the hospital. I realize what my parents did to me when I was a child directly effected the person I am today. Because they weren't there, I didn't have some of the same opportunities the kids who had parents did. While I would cut back hours at the lab to ensure I would always be there for my child, he or she would still be growing up without a father."

"Not with me, Bones." Booth insisted. His voice came out a bit louder than he had intended, which caused nearby diners to turns their heads. Nodding and smiling weakly, Booth couldn't help but wish there was an easier way to say it. "You've said it yourself, that I'm a great father to Parker. Why would our kid be any different?"

"Because-" Brennan began, but she paused when she realized she didn't have a complete argument against what he was saying. She had seen him with Parker countless times and had witnessed the things he went through to make sure his son had a great life, even if it meant not staying with him as much as would be preferable. Her mug sat firmly between her hands, and her fingertips touched, but she refused to look at him. Making up an answer would be pointless because even if she did Booth would surely see through it, but telling him he was right wasn't an option either. Making a split second decision, Brennan downed the rest of her coffee before smiling at him. "Thanks for the coffee, Booth, but now I have to go."

"Bones, wait." Booth cried, but it was pointless because she was already halfway out the door. Without finishing his coffee, he placed the money for their order on the table and signaled for their waitress who simply nodded, and he quickly bolted out the door. She couldn't have gone far, he thought, even if she was stubborn enough to go home by herself. He caught sight of her half a block up, and he ran to catch her. "Will you please just talk to me here, Bones? Come on-" Booth reached for her arm, but she ripped herself from his grasp. When she whirled around the face him, the pain in her eyes was enough for him to take a step back.

"You want me to talk? You want me to just...to just tell you what it is you want to hear? I can't do that, Booth. We're partners, _you're_ the one who drew the line, but I'm the one who crossed it by asking you to be the father of my child. I know I'm stepping back by telling you I don't want that anymore, but that's the way it has to be." Brennan spoke as tears threatened to fall from her eyes. She shook her head and tried hard to fight them back, but she knew it was of no use. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Booth asked as he reached out to touch her. When he did, she pulled away, which made him feel even worse about the situation they were suddenly in. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. Look, I'm sorry if it seemed like I was pushing for something in there, because I wasn't."

Brennan shook her head in refusal. "No, maybe you weren't, but that was only because you couldn't bring yourself to admit the facts."

Booth frowned and scratched his head, and found himself wishing they could be having this conversation someplace much more private than a street corner. "Which are?"

"That you wanted the dream to be real." Brennan cried. She turned away from him and faced the street, because even if it was cowardly she didn't think she would want to see his face when she finished saying what she had to say next. "I can't be a wife. I can't fit into the standard role of the woman you're looking for, the one society has convinced you that you should have. Just because you dreamed it doesn't mean it could ever become possible, and I'm sorry if by my writing something remarkably similar I mislead you into thinking it was what I wanted."

He watched as the woman he cared so much for crumbled right before his eyes, but for once Booth wasn't sure what to do. A car passed by and shined its headlights in his eyes, and while he tried his best to shield them, there was still a moment afterward where all he could see was a bright white. Sighing, he again reached out to touch her, putting a hand on either shoulder and turning her in his direction. "Has it occurred to you that I haven't asked you to be my wife or anything other than the person you are? Bones, you're an incredible woman right now, and I wouldn't change anything if it meant making you different."

The feelings Brennan had come to identify came flooding to the surface, but she tried hard to harness them in. While she had yet to tell anyone, she was almost certain some of them knew, and letting the object of her affection in on the secret would not make the situation any easier. "Booth," Brennan whispered. "I-" She paused and cleared her throat, finding that the words were holing up within her and refusing to completely break free. "Do you have any idea what that moment was like for me? When you first woke up and asked me who I was? I know you were simply confused, but for that moment it was as if all the memories we had ever made suddenly became nothing. I know that sounds illogical, but we've spent the last four years building up a partnership that can't be replaced by anyone else, and I should know because the F.B.I. has tried." Brennan laughed a little, but she stopped as his thumb wiped a tear away from her cheek. "For that moment, I didn't know which was worse; believing that you were dead because you took a bullet for me, or having the man I'd come to count on right there in front of me and yet knowing all the while you had no clue who I was."

"But I do, Bones. I know who you are." Booth replied, a hand framing either side of her face, and for a second the thought crossed his mind of what it would feel like to kiss her.

"I know that, but for that moment, feeling like you didn't-" Brennan jerked herself free from his grasp and furiously wiped at her cheeks, trying desperately to hold onto the one secret she had left. If it were laid out in the open, there was no telling how he would react, and she couldn't bear the thought of him rejecting her in any manner. "I was scared."

It all began to fall into place, like pieces of a puzzle. Booth stared at the profile of the woman standing next to him, and a string of memories played through his head. _Real ones_, not ones from his dream. She might have hid behind her wall of logic and science as a guard for years, but it was all to keep from being hurt. "Love doesn't play by logic's rules, Bones."

"I never said anything about love." Brennan replied, a tinge of defiance in her voice. Sometimes, she hated that he knew her so well. When she saw the look in his eyes, the one that was simply pleading that she just tell the truth this time, Brennan could feel her defenses start to slip. "We're partners, Booth."

Booth nodded. "Yeah, we are." He replied. He reached out and wiped another tear away, letting his thumb trace it all the way down before resting against the smooth edge of her lip. Feeling her tense before relaxing underneath his touch made Booth feel something he wasn't entirely sure he was ready for.

"We're partners." Brennan repeated, more for herself than for him. "_Professionals_. Technically speaking, we shouldn't even be having this conversation."

Again with the logic. "You know, normally I'd be up for one of your speeches about how we need to maintain a professional level of attitude about everything, but not now. Not after everything that's happened, please don't go that route."

Brennan watched as Booth was pleading with her, and she found herself wanting so badly to believe him. But the professional side, the one that had yet to completely admit that she loved him, refused to simply lay down and wait. "It would ruin our partnership, and I can't...I won't risk that. We have the best closing rate in our entire division, and if we became personally involved, they would split us up. I've already told them I won't work with anyone else but you, so it would be detrimental to any possible future victims."

Booth tried to fight it back because he knew how she would take it, but he finally succumbed to the pressure and tilted is head back and laughed. "Bones-" Booth began before shaking his head. "Do you have any idea how amazing you are? You are the most insane, frustratingly stubborn person I have ever met."

Brennan furrowed her brow. She stared at Booth as if he had lost his mind."I'm uncertain as to why those qualities make me amazing."

"It's not those, it's the fact that even in the midst of a personal situation, you're still thinking of others. The fact that you've actually thought about this, maybe more than I have. But you've got it all wrong, Bones." Booth replied and shook his head. His breath was a whisper against her lips. "You think the thought of them splitting us up doesn't scare the hell out of me? You think I haven't thought about the way they could react upon finding us out? Bones, the truth is, that woman you were in the book or the dream or whatever it was? She's amazing, but she's nothing compared to the real you. The one standing right here."

She was trying hard to focus on his words and not his touch, but both were proving to be a fiery combination. Her bottom lip trembled as he spoke. "You've thought about us?"

There was a vulnerability in everything about her in that moment; her voice, her posture, and those eyes...those eyes that he would never get tired of staring into. _Every day for the majority of the past four years. _He thought that, but he was fully aware of the fact that if he actually told her that it probably wouldn't have the effect he wanted it to. "Yes, I have."

Three little words of confirmation. Words that used in any other sentence or any other situation would probably not hold as much weight as they did in that moment. Brennan chided herself, because of course words did not physically have weight, but to her it felt as if they might. "I can't do this."

"Can't or won't?" Booth asked, and as soon as he did he realized he'd caught her off guard.

Brennan opened her mouth to refuse. Any excuse in that moment would have been helpful, but she'd used them all before. "We're just partners, Booth. Friends, yes, but-"

"Do you honestly want to try that line on me? We might be able to put other people off with that excuse, but it's not gonna work with me." Booth shook his head and took a step closer to her, but he was careful enough to give her the space she still needed. "You wrote us that way for a reason, Temperance. Don't lie to me."

"Please, don't do this." Brennan pleaded. Her gaze was fixed on the tiny cracks in the sidewalk, and she watched as they slowly bled and merged into one gigantic crack; it was much like the one slowly forming in her line of defense. There was no use left in fighting. Rather than doing so, Brennan looked him square in the eye. Honesty always was the best policy. "I'm scared."

Booth nodded in the warmth of the street lamp, and he caught the ghost of a smile on her face. "Don't be. You trust me, don't you?"

"Of course." Brennan replied immediately, because there really was no need to think about it. There was a trust between them that refused to be broken. "But you don't want me, you want someone that is a least a fraction closer to the woman you dreamt about. Someone who lets you have your way some of the time, and who supports your views on children and marriage. What if what I have to offer you isn't enough? What if we do decide to pursue this particular path of our relationship, and you decide somewhere down the line that you got it all wrong?"

"Bones," Booth began slowly, not because he was losing his patience but because he wanted her to hear him word for word. "Let me decide what I want. I'm perfectly capable, believe me. As far as what happens in a couple of weeks or a couple of months, well I don't exactly know, but you as a scientist have to know that we'll never figure it out unless we try."

Even though she didn't voice her strongest fear, the fact that she was afraid of losing him as her closest friend, Brennan was pretty sure he knew, because seconds later she was wrapped tightly in his embrace. The smell of his cologne and the tattoo of his heartbeat were two small comforts she could do nothing but relish in. They stood like that for a long time wrapped in each others arms, with cars passing by and the occasional person walking past. "It should be considered physically impossible to miss someone when they were still with you."

He was a bit saddened by the breaking of silence as she spoke, but smiled against the crown of her head when Brennan didn't pull away. "You tryin' to say you've missed me, Bones?"

Brennan shrugged and found herself smiling into his shirt. "Possibly."

Booth ran a hand down her back and squeezed her tight, wanting so badly to freeze that moment and stay in it, but he also knew the chances of how much longer it could last. "Come on, let me take you home."

Rather than fighting him, Brennan nodded and pulled back. "Booth?"

"Yeah?" Booth replied. Try as he might, he couldn't decipher the look he saw reflecting back at him.

"Thank you." Brennan replied, the corner of her lips turned up, and for the first time in days she felt herself literally beaming. Well, smiling at least, but when they started walking back in the direction of the SUV, she felt lighter than she had in a long time.

Booth started to guide her back to their vehicle, and as a habit poised his hand at the small of her back, but at the last second changed his mind. On impulse, Booth grabbed her hand and threaded his fingers through hers. Brennan didn't pull back. "Anytime, Bones."


End file.
